So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
