I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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