those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
