She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
how drunk are you?
Several
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
