Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
