Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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