it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
