omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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