Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
