If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
whose ass print is on the piano?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
