ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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