First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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