I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
