Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
