Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ladies don't puke and tell
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
