You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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