As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
