We named our party play list daddy issues
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
