It's Friday. Sex?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
