Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
