I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
