Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
