dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
