Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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