My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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