I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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