Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
