positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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