Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
