Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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