if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
