Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
