omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
