You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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