she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
