i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
