Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
