is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
