I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
