chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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