I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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