btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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