I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
