She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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