we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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