Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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