I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
