Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
