you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
