You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
