He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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