Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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